The Whisper That Turned Into a Roar: Why Midlife Isn't the End. It's the Rewire
There’s a whisper that starts it.
“I deserve more.”
It creeps in quietly - like an uninvited guest you’re not sure you should welcome. It sounds arrogant at first. Unfamiliar. But oh, how it grows.
That whisper isn’t ego. It’s data.
It’s your inner compass trying to reroute you back to yourself. And if you're in your 40s or 50s reading this, chances are you've spent a lifetime tuned into everyone else’s expectations while muting your own.
This isn't a midlife crisis. It's a midlife clarity.
The Science Bit: Why You’re Feeling the Shift
Your brain is wired for pattern recognition and in midlife, you’ve seen enough of the same script to know it doesn’t serve you anymore. According to Behavioural Activation Theory, our motivation to change spikes when the pain of staying stuck outweighs the perceived risk of change.
And here's the kicker: our prefrontal cortex - the bit responsible for decision-making and future planning - is primed to reassess at this life stage. It’s not your hormones making you question everything. It’s your wisdom catching up with your worth.
Enter: The Inner Edge™
Inside my coaching work and the very DNA of FoundHer Fire, we work from a principle called The Inner Edge™. It’s not about pushing harder. It’s about leading yourself better. Listening to that whisper sooner. Choosing aligned action over autopilot.
One of the core tenets of the Inner Edge™ is Code - your lived values turned into decision fuel. That whisper? It’s your values calling bullshit on the performative success script.
Another is Clarity: the kind that comes when you stop asking for permission and start asking better questions:
What am I no longer available for?
Who am I when I’m not performing for approval?
What would it look like to show up fully — for me?
The “Shoulds” Can Get in the Bin
We’ve been marinated in “shoulds” our whole lives:
You should be further along by now.
You should be grateful.
You should tone it down, fit in, stop wanting so much.
NOPE.
At level 52, I can tell you this: the “shoulds” are societal noise designed to keep us small and silent. But the roar? That’s you remembering who you were before the world told you otherwise.
What If You’re Not Done Yet?
Getting to this age hasn't been a descent, it’s been an awakening, a wake the fck up alarm call that time is ticking on, that we might have lived half our lives and blimey o riley do we need to make the next half count. The realisation that you deserve joy, purpose, and space that feels like home. That being seen doesn’t require performance. That the village matters and so does the room you’re in.
So I built the room I needed.
FoundHer Fire isn’t just a membership. It’s a rebellion. It’s the human scaffolding system for women with lived-in wisdom who are ready to rewrite, rewire and reignite.
If This Is You…
You're not broken.
You're just done pretending.
You're not asking if there’s more.
You’re declaring: I am more.
And you’re bloody right.
FoundHer Fire is open for applications. It’s £325 for 3 months of unapologetic coaching, community, clarity and conversation.
Because success that looks good is meaningless if it doesn’t feel good. And this chapter of our lives, we deserve more.
